As currencies get grander and ever grander under the guidance of wise and beneficent politicians, the Deutsche Mark improved to become the Euro, which at a rate seven times faster than the collapse of the Soviet Union improved to become the Merkel. It goes without saying, the developing currencies are many times more worth a bailout than the lesser precursors. A new unit - the Merkel - measures the increasing value of bailouts, and defines modern currencies in terms of their desert and eligibility for bailout:
By reMARKable coincidence a Märkl (pronounced exactly like Merkel) is the diminutive of Mark, as in Deutsche Mark.
The German proper name Merkel rhymes with Ferkel (piglet), so the English equivalent of Frau Merkel might be Ms Miglet. In German, the term Ferkel is figuratively used to describe an indecent person - however, if the indecency of the person advances at the rate of a Merkel or more, Germans quickly switch to using the more dramatically indignant descriptions Sau and Schwein (female and male swine, respectively).